// soul softener

i just want to bury my face
in the softness of your arms
inhale the fabric softener you use
and forget the weight on my chest

have you changed the brand
i cant get high anymore
or have you stopped using it
at all

it’s just someone else’s fave now
and this is no longer the roof
that shelter me from the winds
the house is missing walls

nothing but the frames left
trying to support me

i can see the road so empty
knowing i have to go
i hit it one last time
only to bleed some more

but how can one close the door behind
if the house has no walls
it feels like i’ve never left
because void is not a place

a feeling
that looms

you knew all of them

i wish i could go back
say different thing
feel differently
ache less
think less
say more
see more
love just the way i did
but i was just a kid
lost in insecurity
how restoring purity
is hard i know now


i wish you knew
what goes inside
i wish you felt
the blossom
the rot
the awaiting
the rise
and the fall

i wish you knew all of them
bottled within a fragile soul
eating my heart like a ghoul
come take me away
and return me home
as i dont belong
where i am
im gone

the rats inside never rest
it bleeds, it falls apart
these sturdy pests
wont leave me alone

feeding on my flesh as i walk
as i sleep
all the blood i sweep
keeps coming out

say you’ll put a band aid on
the cracks in my mind
and i’ll run away i swear
because heroes have swords
that penetrate
fragile souls

i rip apart my ribs
just to make more space
for the love i feel
and the pain i feel
as they cant fit both in

opened like a door
but no one seems to visit
the house looks so cold indeed
there is a fireplace believe me

oh i know the wood’s not cracking
and the fumes are poision to your lungs
the walls are covered in fungus
i know

but pay me a visit
i’ll put a blanket on
your shoulders that shiver
for the horrible sights
my attic has to offer

there’s nothing that would harm you
as long as i am here
i will guide you
i know the path
it’s just around the corner
miles away
don’t look at me that way
i’m not a goner

i still see the fields
the darkness around us
underlining the void
and the water in my eyes
won’t make grow any flowers

the cruel silence
tore my veins like a raptor
empty look met the other
i won’t forget
how it stripped me down
of all the clothes
in autumn winds
i froze to death
that was just clinical

not enough to cut off the beat
nor to extinguish the heat
to just flicker must choke the heart
but it was alive
and stayed alive

Za zvuku tříštícího se skla

potkali jsme se na zastávce
pršelo a tys byla tak studená
setřel jsem ti kapky ze tváře
přestalo pršet a tys byla tak studená
setřel jsem ti kapky ze tváře
zeptal jsem se a tys řekla
“cítím chlad”
a já najednou měl hlad
utěšit tě a zazpívat
ale zapomněl jsem slova
já zkusil jsem to znova
podal jsem ti svetr
ale tobě ještě větší zima
“kam jdeš?”
řeklas a já na to
“ale ano”
a já šel
a už se nevrátil


ona stále dýchá
stále život skýtá
stále skrytá
před tebou
i před sebou
počítá si vlasy
češe si řasy
škoda, že už není
v českém znění

stále nikdo nevydal
titulky k jejímu filmu
nepřeložil tlustou knihu
je to zvláštní